Confessions of a Cancer Patient

Confession #1: I am a pillhead. No intervention necessary. The only thing I've taken on a regular basis in my life is birth control and vitamins. Suddenly, I have pills for everything. I have a good vitamin regimen of six pills that helps with my immune system, energy levels, and heart health. I take a steroid for five days after each chemo and have two anti-nausea medications that I alternate and another I take every night the week after chemo. I take stool softeners and Miralax daily to combat side effects of the chemo and the anti nausea meds. The oncologist says to take all the things to stay ahead of the symptoms because it's much harder to chase them after they happen. Oh, and did I mention my gag reflex? 🤪 I washed all these down with seven cups of water today, though they want me to drink 12-13 every day, which seems impossible. I did this today all while thinking that if it eradicates Wilma, then it's totally worth it. And this is the only time in my life (hopefully) where it will be socially acceptable to take an absurd amount of pills without anyone batting an eye. It's similar to when you're pregnant and you have free reign to eat whatever you want. No one tells the pregnant woman she can't have that Mexican pizza she's craving. No one is that brave...

Confession #2: I'm kind of digging not having hair. I love my long hair, don't get me wrong. I love how it looks when I wear it down. I don't love how it constantly gets in my face or at a certain length, gets caught on the collar of a cowl neck sweater. I don't love trying to get the weird kink out that I woke up with at 5:30am. Today, I had fantasy red shoulder length hair with a slight curl and bangs. Yesterday, I went with a slouchy hat. Tomorrow, well it depends on how I feel in the morning, but I'm thinking a long straight auburn maybe. A girl's gotta have choices, right? 🤷

Confession #3: We've been hanging out with all the kids the last few weeks trying to get as much time with Bre and Corey as we can before they move. They're headed to Iowa in about a month since Bre was promoted to a new property in Des Moines (#proudmom). We are having so much fun playing games, talking, watching TV, and going down 90s music memory lane that I can completely forget there's anything wrong right now. A couple nights ago, I had a small meltdown and Rhys found me hiding under my blankets in bed, crying. An hour later, the kids had me laughing so hard that I was crying for a different reason. So thankful for all my babies ❤️

TODAY'S SILVER LINING: We got out of the house and went to Mom and Mike's for a few hours. Rhys got to do his favorite thing with Mike: technology. I got to do one of my favorite things with Mom: design. They are finally in their house and we've got some great decor ideas. Love to keep some normalcy ❤️