Wilma's an A*#hole
And I'm back! Sorry it's been so long, but rough week is an understatement. I can handle mental and emotional stress like nobody's business, but a Mack truck...that takes a few to come back from. :-) I had my first chemo treatment last Friday, January 7th and I was really tired and mostly slept the rest of the day. I tried to drink water to stay hydrated and did alright that first day with graham crackers. Saturday, the nausea started and I couldn't keep anything down for days. Everything I tried came immediately back up with the exception of Staci's fantastic turkey chili that stayed down for a bit and then lost its battle as well. Somehow Rhys even liked the chili and that's the stamp of approval right there! He's not a fan of ground turkey AT ALL (and I've tried!) and we just ate the leftovers for lunch today, which he is also typically not a fan of - he's extra, I know. :-)
From Friday until this past Thursday evening, I felt like I was fighting my way out of a wet paper bag to get to consciousness. I kept getting to the point of opening my eyes and then falling back asleep. I could stay awake for two hours tops and was absolutely exhausted. We called the oncology nurse and they called in a different nausea med on Wednesday which definitely works better and bonus: it's a meltaway so I can put it under my tongue while I'm getting sick and it takes effect in just a couple minutes. Autumn brought by some peppermint that at least settled my stomach even if I couldn't tolerate food yet. Hate that she knows from her experience, but glad that she knew to recommend it. <3
I asked Heidi what Addison could tolerate if she was nauseous and fortunately, she didn't have to deal with that. Her vomiting only came when she was having to take her chemo pills. So what does Heidi do? She googles chemo nausea and then shows up an hour later with like 4-5 bags of groceries and Sprite and Ginger Ale. Everything under the sun from vanilla and tapioca pudding to greek and frozen yogurt to oyster crackers and mini bagels. This is why she makes the best advocate: she knows how to research and get her answers! She knew something in there was going to work and it did. She stayed and visited for awhile and we talked about Addison's MRI - which was fantastic - so excited for their four pack!!!
Rhys picked up some protein shakes for me to try late Thursday afternoon and that breathed the life back into me. I kept it down and stayed awake for almost five hours straight! I had some vanilla pudding before bed and kept it down, too! Brandon and Stacy brought dinner (braised short ribs with gravy, scalloped potatoes, and roasted veggies with pancetta) and dare I say these guys are eating better than when I cook?!
Marcus and Rocki came with a basket of goodies that I can use to tackle my boredom when I'm down (thanks Jordan for helping with the presentation - it was awesome!) Enter Wilma: my own personal a*#hole. Glad I have permission to abuse her whenever I want! She's going to take a beating! LOL
They stayed and visited awhile and while I was wiped out shortly after they left, I was so happy that I was able to stay awake and see some of my tribe!
Lindsey gave me a worry stone (Tourmaline) when she was in town and told me the story behind it. She's carried this thing since she was 15 years old and now she's passed it on to me. When I was awake, this thing was like a fidget toy for me. Something about the texture I think. When I read up on it, black tourmaline represents purification and I need that now more than ever so I'll be carrying this little guy around with me :-)
I also got the super cute blanket in this post in the mail that day from my friend, Kathy, who lives in Florida. It's super soft and minky so I can take it with me to chemo and cuddle up and it's got my name in all the corners. When chemo brain sets in, at least I'll know it's mine! LOL She quilts even more than my mom does and has a fancy embroidery machine so the design is hers and she also sent port pillows and mastectomy pillows for when the time comes this summer.
Friday morning, I slept until 9:30am which is highly unusual for me, but it was an unusual week. Rhys made me another protein shake and I kept it down again. By noon, I was checking work email and trying to get rid of non-essential stuff. I found out that my old Office Manager, Heather, was asked to help cover while I was out which was awesome! I really thought it would all just be on my desk when I came back as per usual.
By Friday evening, I was feeling human. Billy and Jennifer brought dinner again and as I mentioned before, the food is even better than what I typically cook! Super thick pork chops, carrots that everyone was raving about (definitely need THAT recipe!), corn casserole, and strawberry shortcake with whipped cream for dessert. Of course, Cade immediately went for the whipped cream and shotgunned himself like my Dad used to do to him all the time. :-)
Huge thanks to everyone who has sent thoughts/prayers and brought food/goodies by. I know I wasn't very awake for the majority of it, but I really appreciate everyone helping take care of my family while I couldn't this week. You have no idea how much it means to me to know that my tribe is large and capable. It makes me feel a million times better knowing that everything won't fall completely on Rhys and he'll have some relief during all this. My anxiety is definitely decreased in the wake of this week so thank you to everyone.
Last night, I slept through the night with the exception of one bathroom run. I dreamt of a slowly moving kaleidoscope of memories that affirm just how blessed we've been and still are. We haven't really had to endure much hardship in the scheme of things that I've supported my friends through over the years. This is a new chapter, albeit a crappy one for us, but just a blip in time. We'll look back on this in 20 years and say, remember that time when Mom laid around, slept all the time and didn't even bother to make the bed or unplug the Keurig? And I'll think back to Wilma and remember giving that b*tch her eviction notice. :-D
TODAY'S SILVER LINING: I was able to get out of the house today for the first time in 9 days. It was just to go to get a 30-minute massage to relieve the anxiety and tension in my shoulders and neck, but still yet. We both wore masks the whole time and I feel much more relaxed.
PS - if anyone is having trouble getting the emails, let us know. Mom said it went to her promotions folder in Google...